i'm blogging again cause...i needed to blog. i'm lying on the bed with my nerves going tick tick tick and i realize i can't sleep and got up to on the lap top.

ah the gorgeous days of having a computer in the same room as you.
of course it's not always a good thing.

so right now, i'm going to ramble until my nerves decide to calm down. i get affected easily -told you that, don't have to explain why because it's a stupid reason. and i have to gain more skin.

if i were to continue into this line i must be thicker skinned than the thickest extinct dinosaur skin you can find.
my friends, would you care to help?

my self-esteem can be incredibly ranging from 0 to 100.
i can be entirely confident in the first hour and at a moment of spite can be seen brooding and my face literally falling.

i think if a certain thing doesn't work out i think i'm going to stop again.
it's terrible.
perhaps i should continue to work hard, after all failure is a step to success.

secretly sometimes i believe that's a shitload.

i think i've mentioned that somewhere in my past posts.

i hate it that i can be so-vulnerable. it practically irks me that i'm so sensitive till the point it affects me greatly.

audio blogging costs money. say goodbye to the idea.

perhaps once i start fsv i'll put up videos instead.

i've been in a situation where people are drunk-twice.

today? was the funniest/scariest of them all because when someone is drunk, they're so unaware what they're doing that you don't know what they're going to do next.

i was actually pretty afraid he'll do something crazy. and well naturally he did. it was funny in a way but i can feel my heart go *thump thump thump*

i was freaked inside out! but you know, laugher is a cover to all badness. and truth was? i was so embarrassed for the person and you wonder whether you should help him or not.

i didn't realize one could be so drunk until then.

and what's more? he's family for goodness sake.

okay, so maybe he was slightly sober but hey i have drunkard person on my cam recorder and well i think it would be funny cause there's my laughter in it.

ah well, the sobriety of alcohol. (note the sacarasm)

i was thinking to start audio blogging which i learnt from nickbrendon.com where the actor actually audio blogs. i thought that's a pretty cool idea. i mean, how many people actually audio blog? and maybe i'll even do a transcript since it's pretty hard to hear all the time you know. this constant whining and buzzing.

well, we'll see how it works out.

okay, so i finally settled down and have about a month before everything goes havoc again. currently i'm immensely bored with nothing to do at all

but it's surprisingly okay because i know not too long i'm going to have this hectic schedule where i wish for this excruciating boring old days to pass my time where i can just sit back and watch the movies.

and i realize without human contact my life is pretty much monotone and though i do have some stuff to do i.e. writing and posting on time, my emotions are not jumbled up and wild anymore.

which is great, ah right?
right.

equilibrium?- was a blast.

i have never seen such action scenes before. it was a mixture of gun fighting and wushu.
christian bale is in it. so is sean bean.

and i thought the plot was pretty ironic. correction it is ironic.
a planet with no emotions yet so much anger?

i was laughing mentally about the movie but enjoying the action scenes so much.

without love, breath is just a clock ticking

have you ever been so happy about something that you are afraid that it will go away, or if you are so paranoid that you thought if you look the other way it will be gone.

well i'm feeling that now.
oh, and freaking out!


so this is what being ecstatic feels like

okay, it's absolutely sure. i love writing. whether it's blogging or writing stories i can't just get it out of my head. writing to me it's like a passion. i may not be good or perfect, but hey

aren't we all not?

every time i read other stories or blogs i just feel like writing my own. and i realized these days i'm not really particular on who reads it. sure it's always nice when someone comments or leave a tag makes you feel as though you're not writing to a blank wall but i just love the gest of it.

and god, do i need to change my layout.

you know i was mentioning to my mum what if i wanted to become a scriptwriter. she immediately cut me off. i don't blame her, but i guess i could do it as a sidetrack thing.

can't wait for the next millennium...if there is even going to be one

have you ever felt like your whole brain is stuck and can't function?

i despise that feeling. makes me feel all clogged up and there is nothing a damn thing i can do about it.
it's awful.

you know, i realized that i stop appreciating life a while back, but it's changing again. with all the big people in my life and my support.

and damn, sloth is such a great sin that i wish to get rid off.
i'm hiring by the way.